Love Making Tips For Seniors

1. Wear your glasses to  make sure your partner is actually in the  bed.

2. Set timer for 3  minutes, in case you doze off in the  middle..

3. Set the mood  with lighting. (Turn them ALL OFF!)

4. Make sure you  put 911 on your speed dial before you  begin.

5. Write partner's  name on your hand in case you can't  remember.

6. Use extra  polygrip so your teeth don't end up under the  bed.

7. Have Tylenol  ready in case you actually complete the  act..

8. Make all the  noise you want...the neighbors are deaf,  too.

9. If it works,  call everyone you know with the good  news!!

10. Don't even  think about trying it twice.
..  . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . .... . . . . . .  . . . . .
'OLD'  IS WHEN...  
Your  sweetie says, 'Let's go upstairs and make love,' and you answer,  'Pick one; I can't do both!'

'OLD'  IS WHEN...  
Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and  you're barefoot.

'OLD'  IS WHEN...  
Going  bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your  face.

'OLD'  IS WHEN.....  
You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you  don't have to go along.

'OLD'  IS WHEN...  
You  are cautioned to slow down by the
doctor  instead of by the police
.

'OLD'  IS WHEN..  
'Getting  a little action' means you don't need to take any fiber  today.

'OLD'  IS WHEN...  
'Getting lucky' means you find your car in the parking  lot.

'OLD'  IS WHEN...  
An  'all nighter' means not getting up to use the  bathroom.

'OLD'  IS WHEN...

You're  not sure if these are facts or jokes.