My Resume

1. My first job was working in an Orange Juice factory,
    but I got canned. Couldn't concentrate.

2. Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack,
but just
couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.

3. After that, I tried being a Tailor, but wasn't suited for it --  
mainly because it was a sew-sew job.
4. Next, I tried working in a Muffler Factory, but
that
was too exhausting.
5. Then, tried being a Chef--figured it would add a little spice  

to my life, but just didn't have the thyme.

6. Next, I attempted being a Deli Worker, but any way
I sliced it...
couldn't cut the mustard.
7. My best job was a Musician, but eventually found
I wasn't noteworthy.


8. I studied a long time to become a Doctor, but didn't

have any patience.

9. Next, was a job in a Shoe Factory. Tried hard but just didn't fit in.


10. I became a Professional Fisherman, but discovered
I couldn't live on my net income.
                   
11. Managed to get a good job working for a Pool Maintenance Company,
but the work was just too draining.


12. So then I got a job in a Workout Center, but they said I
wasn't fit for the job.

13. After many years of trying to find steady work,
I finally got
a job as a Historian - until I realized there was no future in it.

14. My last job was working in Starbucks, but had to quit because

it was the same old grind.

 
 

15. SO, I TRIED Retirement AND
FOUND I'M PERFECT FOR THE
JOB!